The Feeling of Abandonment
by JT LUVS PUPPIES
Summary: Sakura's feelings after Sasuke and Naruto left: set in between the Original and Shippuden. please read and review.


_**The Feeling of Abandonment **_

You can't be angry forever. Sometimes that seems impossible… but… I know that I need to forgive. I need to forgive them… no matter how much they hurt me, no matter how much they used me… no matter how much I hate them.

They just _abandoned_ me! How can I just let that go… how can I not be mad at them after they _deserted_ me! I just don't understand how people can do that… and how they can forgive so easily. I wish I could be like that. I wish I could get over such horrible things like other people do; like _good_ people do.

Does that make me a bad person if I hold onto a grudge? I guess so. I guess I'm just terrible. I guess I'm evil. I don't want to be… but I can't help it. How can people just leave someone behind to just… die? How can people be so cruel that they'd leave their so-called 'friend' alone!? I don't understand. I would- no, I _could_ never do that! How can other people? I just don't get it.

It sucks… this feeling of abandonment. I just feel so alone! Why would people do this to me? Do they want me to die? Do they want me gone or out of their life? I don't know… but should I even care? I'm a _nobody_… I'm just invisible to everyone around me. They don't care about me. Maybe I _should_ just die…

But I don't want to die! I want to _live_ and have other people see me! I want people to _notice_ me… I guess I just need to be realistic… no one wants me around… no one cares. I sigh. I need a walk.

I leave my house and lock the door while putting my headphones in my ears. I turn away and start walking. I don't know where… but I don't really care. I just want to walk away. From everything.

I start thinking about everything we've been through… all the missions we've done, all the enemy's we've faced. But I don't think it really matters. All that we've been through… it's only brought us here. Naruto's off training to find Sasuke. And Sasuke? I scoff. He went off somewhere to join some evil snake dude. He left us for someone _evil_. I'll never understand how he could do that… I sigh once more.

I miss them both so much! They were my teammates; my family. I just want them home.

Everything I've done… it's all for nothing. No matter how much I train I won't get any stronger… I will always be the worthless one. I will always be the weak link on the team. I look around to where my walking has brought me. I laugh slightly. I'm at the bridge that we always met on before we trained together or got the next mission assignment. Oh well… it was pretty much all for nothing. Look where it got us. Ha… I sigh again.

How could my own teammates think that I could handle something like this! Abandonment! I was always the emotional one! Even now! Look at me, _crying_. I think I cry way too much. I _am_ just a crybaby. I slam my fist on the railing of the red bridge as I let more tears escape. I'm only fourteen! Things like this shouldn't be happening to me! It's not fair! How could people be so _heartless_? I will never understand! I _can_ never understand. I bite my lip as hard as I can. Blood spills out. As I taste it I stop biting. I don't know why, but I do. I fall to my knees, clutching my arms tightly. More tears poor out and I start sobbing. No one's around. I wish I knew what I could do. But I don't. Sometimes I think I never will. I sob and bring my knees to my chest and just cry.

Sometimes, I think I'll never stop crying. Sometimes, I think nothing will change. But I know that I have to believe that they will. I know that I need to believe that things will get better. But it's just so hard to. But… I have to believe that. I _need_ to. I cry, and I know that I'll cry for a long time. I'll forgive them. They're my family; I love them both _so much_. I know I'll see them again. I hope I will… and I need to keep hoping.

I'm never as angry as I was before after I cry. I feel better afterwards actually. I'm not mad at them anymore. Well, not as mad as I was. I will forgive them, I know I will. I have to. And I know that I'll get over everything. I'll be happy again. But for now, I'll just cry. So I continue to sit on this bridge and weep. I'll let a few minutes go by… maybe even a few hours, then I'll get up and go home, and continue to train and wait for the day when at least one of my teammates returns home. And I know everything will be okay.

The feeling of abandonment, it doesn't last forever. That's _one_ thing I'm sure about.

**A/N:**** hey guys... so I wrote this a while ago trying to get over writer's block... and I've been saving it until I was able to either upload a request or a new chapter for one of my other stories. However, I dropped my computer yesterday(and got it back today) and when I dropped it, it messed up the hard drive. So... basically everything is gone. I had to get a new hard drive but I do still have my old one. So I'm trying to save up some money so that I can 1) get the diagnosis to see if it's savable, and 2) send it some place where they can get it all back if they even /can/ read it. So... that means that all of the stories I was working on are basically all... for lack of a better word, destroyed. I, luckily, sent this to my friend via Email a while ago... so I was able to get it back along with 2 others that I was working on. But I had finished about 5 or 6 and was working on like about 20... so these 3 are really nothing... but at least it is something that I can post so you don't think I'm dead or anything haha... I would like for you all to pray for me so that I can get the money quickly and hopefully be able to save all of my stories, pictures, music, and everything else that I had saved on there. Please and thank you!**

**Anyway! this is about Sakura during the time between Shippuden and the original! don't get on my case if anything's not correct because I am like waaaaaaay behind on Shippuden okay! So this is what I came up with like... months ago (yes I have not watched Naruto in a while okay! I told you guys I'm VERY behind!) So I hope you liked it and please review and tell me your thoughts! **

**Disclaimer: I wrote this, but I own nothing. (if that makes sense)**

**I appreciate constructive criticism! it helps! and haters are not welcome!**

**THANKS FOR READING :) **

**LOVE Y'ALL(heart)**

**GOD BLESS! **

**J.T**


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